


Sick of Losing Soulmates

by Panic1IWriteFanfics



Category: Amazingphil - Fandom, Daniel Howell - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-04-29 09:11:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14469486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Panic1IWriteFanfics/pseuds/Panic1IWriteFanfics
Summary: A girl named Elizabeth discovers she is the neighbor of Dan and Phil, and is depressed and doesn't know where to find help... but it seems like help goes looking for her.





	Sick of Losing Soulmates

“Sick of Losing Soulmates” - Chapter 1  
Daniel Howell x Depressed Reader  
Started 4/5/18  
Finished 4/28/18

Depression is real.

No matter what people say, it’s real. And it’s terrifying. 

Hi, I’m Elizabeth, and I’m a Phangirl who happens to be the neighbor of Dan and Phil.

Gah

When Dan and Phil announced they were moving, of course I was going to miss the old flat because of the great memories. But otherwise, it was a dump, and I was happy for them leaving. 

And a week after the video got put up, is where my story begins. 

3 MONTHS EARLIER  
I lived in London, in a posh apartment building. I’m a journalist, and although it doesn’t pay much I love it a lot. I do that and also wait tables for a living, and I’m quite… satisfied with my life.

Why not happy, you ask? Because I’m depressed.

Imagine falling into a hole, and everyday it gets harder and harder to get out. It’s different for everyone, but for me I cry everyday and am constantly sad. It’s tough for me to get any sleep, and I mostly lay around at home and get things done a few hours before bed. Every. Single. Day.

I didn’t really know the neighbors across the hall too much, and I could care less. I’ve always been a burden to people, even my own parents. I don’t bother to socialize too often, except for my jobs. Even then, some days can be tough. 

One day I was returning from work, and I was tired as heck. All I wanted to do was lay down and sleep for five hours. I walked up two flights of stairs to my studio, and was about to get out my key when I heard a crash come from the apartment across from me. I turned frantically, startled at the noise, heart pounding. I relaxed a bit when I heard someone go “Frick!” and I decided to check it out. I opened the unlocked door to the apartment and said,

“Hello? Is everything okay in here?” 

“Who goes there?” The voice replied, anxious sounding.

“Hi, I’m your neighbor across the hall, I heard a crash and wanted to make sure everything was alright.” I walked into the kitchen, and standing surrounded by glass fragments was Dan Howell, who had dropped some dishes while attempting to put them away. I used all of my energy to not Fangirl, and instead I gasp. “Oh, no! OK, don’t move, stay there. I’ll get a broom and clean this up. Be careful!” You instruct, as Dan nods, speechless, as I run into my apartment and grab the broom. I grab it, and run back into Dan’s apartment. I quickly take off my purse, and start sweeping. Dan starts to move, and I look up and say, “Don’t. Move.” He nods, and stays still until I say, “OK, you can move. All clean.” Dan steps out of his position, and breathes heavily, smiling.

“Thank you, so much. I- dazed out for a moment, and well…” He nods, and you know what is going through him right now. But you don’t bother to ponder on it, and he holds out his hand.  
“Hi, I’m Dan. Who are you?” The hand is there for a good fifteen seconds while I zone out, and go back to the tired person I was before. “Hello?” Dan asks, concerned. I pick up my purse, go to the door and say, 

“Elizabeth.” And then I leave abruptly, and slam my door. I throw down my purse, go into the bathroom, and cry.

THE NEXT DAY…  
Beep beep beep beep beep  
I wake up, and rub my sore eyes, and immediately I know this is going to be a bad day. I sit up, and get ready. I put up my messy hair in a ponytail with ease, and slap on a sweatshirt under my t-shirt and sweatpants. Instead of putting in contacts I wear my glasses, and I skip breakfast but make sure to grab my medicine. I swish with some mouthwash, but don’t bother brushing my teeth. I grab my purse and slippers, and put in my earbuds and turn on Spotify. Immediately, Sick of Losing Soulmates by dodie clark comes on. I inhale sharply, and know what is happening as I shut my front door. I know it makes the wound worse to listen, but I can’t change the song. I feel the warm, salty tears streaming down my face, as I slide down and close my eyes, and begin to sing. 

What a strange being you are, God knows where I'd be  
If you hadn't found me, sitting all alone in the dark  
A dumb screenshot of youth  
Watch how a cold broken teen  
Will desperately lean upon a superglued human of proof  
What the hell would I be without you?  
Brave face talk so lightly, hide the truth

“Elizabeth, are you okay?” A voice asks, and I look up to see Dan standing in the open doorway of his flat. I wipe my tears and my face and reply, 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I say sternly, though I can see Dan is still concerned and not convinced.

Dan frowns. “Are you sure? You don’t look so good. Why are you crying?” I was heading straight into a depressive episode and I felt tired as heck, but I wasn’t going to tell him that. 

“I’m fine. Thanks for asking.” I said, as I stood up and went into my apartment, texted my boss, and went into my bed and wept. 

Later that night…  
Ding dong. I sighed, and got up from laying in my bed, listening to music. I rubbed my eyes, and opened the door to find Dan staring at me. “Hey, Elizabeth, just came over to check on you. Can I come in?” 

I stood in the doorway for a moment, shocked he decided to come over, and replied, “Sure. Sorry if the place is a bit messy.” I led Dan to the couch, and picked up some things I left there. I sat down on the couch, and he sat beside me. I started to fidget with my hands and indent my skin with my nail, and Dan noticed. 

“What are you doing?” He asked, as the nail left a red mark and I replied, 

“Coping. What do you need with me?” I asked, and Dan looked at my hands and started to grab them and I yanked them away in panic, now more anxious than before. “What are you doing?!” Dan put his hands up and said,

“Sorry, but I don’t want you to do that because I know it’ll hurt you.”

“Barely. Now, did you come here to straighten me out or something else?” Dan winced, and I felt bad about being rude but I wasn’t in the correct state of mind to apologize to him.

“Tell me what’s wrong, Elizabeth, I can help you.” He said, holding eyes contact with me for a second, and I looked down. 

“I barely know you,” I replied, trying to avoid Dan’s gaze. 

“Your shrine begs to differ,” Dan counters, as you curse under your breath, remembering Dan and Phil’s books and plushies are on display. 

“Well, you barely know me! For all you know, I could be a serial killer.” I said logically, and Dan snickered. 

“I’ll take that chance,” He replied, and I could feel myself blush a bit. Oh, no no no you cannot fall for him! He is Daniel Howell, what would he want with YOU? I go back to being sad, and I rub my wrists. “Point is, Phil and I are here for you. From what we’ve seen, you seem like a very nice person, and we’re ninety percent sure you’re not a serial killer.” I smile weakly, and Dan smiles back.  
I yawn, rubbing my eyes, and Dan says concerned, “You look exhausted, Elizabeth. Did you go into work today?” 

“No, I didn’t. Had to miss work… again. Bloody rubbish, I tell you.” I sighed, and yawned again. “I can never get anything done with this depression, so I’m tired all the bloody time. Have a lot of late nights.” I said, as I slapped my hand over my mouth.

Oh my God. I just told him. Oh no… I got up suddenly, and said, “You should go. It’s getting late.” I said, as I hurriedly walked to the door, Dan still sitting on the couch. “Dan!” I said, as he spoke softly.

“You’re depressed too. I knew it.” He said, as I stopped. 

“What?” 

“I knew it, right from the moment I met you. You zoned out when I tried to shake your hand, sitting in the hallway crying, and being tired all of the time?” Dan said, looking at me. “Why would you hide this from me?” 

“I barely know you! And I didn’t want to risk getting hurt, like every other person has made me feel when they’ve interacted with me! And I didn’t want to hurt you more, because I know you suffer from this too!” I yelled, bursting into tears. I slid to the ground, and cried. “I- care so much about you and Phil, and I didn’t want to-” I sobbed, and heard footsteps and felt Dan’s arms around me.

“I’m here,” He said, holding me close, and I cried.

____________________________________________________________________________ 

Hello my lovelies. Thank you for reading, make sure to like this and if you want to see more chapters to this series, then comment below! Thanks again, and have a good day/night. <3


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